By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
