am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
