Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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