everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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