the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
