so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
