Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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