I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
