god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
