Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
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