I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
