hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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