it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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