If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Drake has all the answers
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
