if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
