The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
