I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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