Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
