How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
