Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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