I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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