Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
