Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
meet me or not, i'm out of control
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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