What did we do last night that was yellow?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
