just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
