I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
