i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
