Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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