HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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