Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
