Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
