Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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