Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
