Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
