why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I forgot how hot balto sounded
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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