just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
