why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
