it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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