i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
