I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she woke up with a sticky ear
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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