Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
