My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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