I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
