So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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