if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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