Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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