No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
