Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
