Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i was born a porn star she said
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
