4 words: hood of his car
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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