you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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