tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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