New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
