Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
