worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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